Reflections on 20 Years of Marital Bliss

OK, the title is meant to be a bit ironic.  Wendy and I have weathered many battles and a few crises over the past two decades.  But our marriage has taught me a lot about the importance of respect when dealing with others.

Wendy and I are very different from each other.  I am more drawn to abstract causes, she is more concrete.  This sounds innocuous enough.  But it poses some daunting challenges for how we spend our time and money--a couple of issues that tear many marriages apart.

What keeps us together, I think, is that we respect both each other and each others' priorities--even as we pursue somewhat different ones in our individual lives.  And I think the fact that someone we respect so deeply (Wendy is the most amazing person I've ever met) disagrees with us on some important issues reminds us that our individual points of view are very likely to be flawed and incomplete.

Of course this insight can be exported from our marriage to the many other relationships that we are part of.  Each of us encounters and works with people with diverse beliefs and priorities, points of view that can be viewed as threats to our own--or as opportunities to become both kinder and wiser.