Many people have observed that Americans tend to deny death. We live a long time, have a lot of resources at our disposal to stave off death, and many of us are pretty advanced in years before we witness the death of someone close to us.
This might have something to do with the fact that Americans often take a long time to grow up and that we are so resistant to limits. Death is a great limiter. No amount of money or privilege can stop it. But we pretend otherwise for decades.
Bill and Bee Jai died way too soon. They still had a lot to do and a great deal to offer the rest of us. Death surprised them and broke the hearts of those who love them.
Hitting my mid-fifties depressed me for several years. It hit me that my life was likely more than half over, and that many of the dreams that I had assumed I'd get to some day would instead die on the vine. Losing these close friends has prompted me to realize that understanding that we don't have all the time in the world is in fact a gift. Appearances to the contrary, our days are indeed numbered, and the number may be much lower than we assume. Rather than moving from the distraction and boredom that so often characterizes living like life will never end to feeling sorry for ourselves because it will, in fact end, we could instead move forward, with purpose and gratitude.
As Mary Oliver puts it:
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
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