Michael Winchester, Jr. on Service, Loss, and Vulnerability

Throughout the last three to four years of my life, I have experienced a variety of profound transformations. Some that were voluntary, some that were almost completely out of my hands, and some that were situated somewhere in between the two. After all, being a college student trying to traverse the perilous ordeal of choosing a career path, and actually sticking with it, has been something that has plagued me since the beginning. I always have had a general idea of where my skill sets lay, but I was not always confident where they were best applied. I decided to become a psychology major, as I knew working individually with people was something that spoke deeply to me. I am not the most extroverted person, but forming genuine relationships has always proven to be a fantastic motivator for myself. With that said, I had never been quite sure what specific area of psychology I would engage in and pursue. Luckily, that all really began to change for me through service work in David’s freshman year “Immigration, Migration, and Belonging” course.

I enrolled in the course without much knowledge of what it would look like and because I was not sure what else to take at the time. Of course, I am so happy I did now, but I might not have had the same excitement for what was to come upon registering. This was especially the case when the initial idea of volunteering outside of the classroom was brought to my attention. I had never really done much service work in my life, so there is no other way around it but to say that I was somewhat nervous for what was to come. Would I be effective in helping others, at this point in my life? Would people be receptive to me? These were all doubts that began to emerge and cloud my expectations.

At the start of Winter term of that year, I began volunteering out at Earl Boyles Primary School out in the David Douglas School District. Of all the presented options of places to volunteer at, I figured that younger kids would be easier to work with. Nonetheless, I hopped on the bus behind my freshman year dormitory and embarked on the 30-minute bus ride to Earl Boyles with no idea of what I was getting myself into.

As soon as I entered the building, I immediately began to feel a bit more at ease. Shortly after arriving, I was assigned to work in a classroom of 5th graders. I was placed in a particular classroom with another volunteer to focus on helping two students that had struggled academically and socially throughout the year. Now, this was something that was still quite outside of my comfort zone. I had never been in a position where impressionable kids were looking up to me for advice or to answer one of their many questions. More doubts slowly followed. Although this time, the idea began to present itself in a much more positive light. The hardest part - actually stepping foot on the bus, into the school, and meeting with the staff - was completed, and I became much more optimistic about the experience. I suppose that feeling is quite relevant to most new opportunities in life. Once we begin to place ourselves in a state of relative discomfort, we position ourselves in a way that enables growth in some form or another. Without taking a gamble, we risk stagnating where we are. I know this has been true for myself in the past, as I have not always pushed myself as hard to leave my comfort zone. The push from David’s course was exactly what I needed at that period of my life.

With my outlook improving, finally getting to enter the classroom and introduce myself to the students instantaneously overrode the initial anxieties that had built up. These were doubts and anxieties that existed only in my head and were quickly dispelled by the beaming smiles and elation of the students towards me. Any doubt over whether or not I was qualified to help the students became irrelevant, as the kids certainly treated me as if I was fit for the job. It became clear to me that this was something that gave me a great sense of fulfillment and purpose. Furthermore, it made me realize the importance of supporting young people and encouraging them to be their best selves. I think this is a principle that has gotten lost along the way in our accolade-based education system.

As time passed, I began to form greater connections with the students I had been working with independently. The eventual trust that developed really helped me settle in and improve my overall service work. More importantly, it helped me help them, and the benefits of this were largely noticeable. One of the two was someone that struggled to make friends and fit in with their peers. It was not a long time before he was chatty and playing basketball with all the other students at recess. This was someone who I could not previously get a word out of. The other student struggled academically throughout his time at the school, but saw the overall largest grade improvement of any student in the 5th grade at the end of the year. It finally clicked for me. My experience at Earl Boyles was entirely transformative, as it helped guide me down the path of identifying a particular career in psychology. I had seen that I was truly capable of working with kids, but without being pushed to do so might not have fully realized this passion.

In fact, the following year led me to begin working at the Boys and Girls Club of Portland, in a very similar environment with other elementary school kids. The job has allowed me to further minimize doubts in my life, find purpose, and improve my abilities of working with kids. My recent experiences with the Boys and Girls Club has shown me how kids are the individuals who need additional support the most. Lots of the kids I work with have difficult home lives, trauma, or other issues that are not always visible or able to be addressed by a teacher in a normal 30-student classroom. So, it has become my mission to do my part in assisting students who find themselves in these situations and work as some sort of child therapist or counselor. I’m still figuring it out.

On top of my career, it has also helped transform me into a better person. It has taught me the importance of giving back to the community and those who need it most. There are so many different kinds of people struggling with different types of issues, that I have definitely begun to transition my life into a more caring and conscious one. I view all people’s issues as valid and worth finding solutions for. If a person is voicing concerns about an issue, there is most likely truth to be found within those concerns, whether we are currently aware of it or not.

These values of having a conscious awareness and caring for those around us are ones that are not new to me, but certainly new in their application to my current life. The first person who truly demonstrated these values to me was my mother. She was a school teacher before I was born and lived her life with an unmatched gratitude and thoughtfulness towards those around her. Unfortunately, she passed away a little over a year ago while battling a second round of aggressive colorectal cancer. She was originally diagnosed with stage 4 cancer when I was only in 5th grade, so her battle with cancer and the fight for her life was something that always played a role in my development. One of the major things I took away from the many years when she struggled through chemotherapy, radiation, and being bed-ridden was how her spirit and optimism continued to prevail. In the face of death, she remained focused on checking in with others, giving to others when she could, and living a lifestyle that encouraged peace and happiness for all of those around her. Having a first-hand view of this battle really transformed the way I looked at life. It provided me with a whole new perspective. How could somebody, whose chances of surviving seemed so bleak, remain so positive and filled with gratitude? Moreover, it helped me understand that if she, in her health, could remain living with such compassion for the world then it was totally possible for me to do the same.

As a result, it also helped me get in touch with my vulnerabilities and appreciate the unseen vulnerabilities of those around me. Growing up, my peers at school did not know what I was going through at home. That undoubtedly made things much tougher, as I felt like it was a secret burden to my life. Now that I’m a little older and able to do service work, I definitely carry that knowledge into each day. We never know someone’s whole story just from an initial glance or what we assume to be true for someone else. We are all unique individuals with our own exceptional stories. That’s how we must treat all of those around us.

Thank you, David for giving me a platform to tell my experiences and for those of you who have read this piece. If there are any primary takeaways from this, I would say to constantly try to find ways to push yourself out of your comfort zone, give back to those around us in the best way possible, and live with a conscious awareness of the fact that we do not know everything about everything that meets the eye. I still have a lot to learn and figure out, but I’m optimistic for the future, as the principles act as a light to illuminate the path ahead of me.