Some Thoughts on Support (Upon Graduating from University), By Aineias Engstrom

 

    I’m not usually one to boast about my accomplishments, but I’m confident enough to say that I succeeded at Portland State. Not only did I meet many wonderful people who have had a meaningful impact on my life, but I also graduated summa cum laude and gained important professional experience by completing three internships in Portland. These achievements put me in a position to now move on to graduate school in Switzerland.

    I don’t mean to toot my own horn by calling my time as an undergraduate a success. I mean to set the scene to discuss an important realization I’m taking away from my three-and-a-half years at PSU. Namely, why I was able to succeed.

    I was able to succeed because I had a tremendously strong and dedicated support structure that helped me with every step along the way. My aunt, uncle, and grandparents here in Oregon; my parents from abroad; advisers, classmates, and professors in school itself. I felt supported by more people than I could have imagined during my time in Portland.

    Yes, I worked hard, I looked for internships, I was bright-eyed and eager to build relationships. I understood how to put the puzzle pieces together to succeed. But only because I was given the time and space to figure it out. I produced good work because I felt like people had my back and wanted me to succeed. I got internships because my family supported me financially, so I could work twenty hours a week without pay. And I became eager to build relationships because people’s kindness allowed me to overcome my social anxiety, at least on most days.

    Throughout my time as an undergraduate, I realized more and more the privilege of having such an extensive and committed support structure. I benefited tremendously from it, both materially (having my basic needs met) and emotionally (receiving affirmation for my hard work). But it also became clear to me that having such a support structure is not necessarily normal at PSU. Two of the smartest and most kind-hearted classmates I met as an undergraduate were forced to quit school because they could no longer pay tuition costs. Both of them also had troubled relationships with their families and couldn’t count on them for much support. And I encountered many more people who didn’t have the support structure they needed to overcome problems ranging from trauma and loneliness to food insecurity and houselessness.

     As somebody who was empowered by a strong support structure, my main message to readers is that we need to provide whatever support we can to each other, especially if we ourselves enjoy the privilege of support. There are many different means of support and each of us has something to contribute to somebody else’s well-being. I’ll be the first to say that I need to do more, but I’ve also come to realize that it isn’t a competition. Providing support starts with simple gestures like complimenting someone for a job well done or listening to them when they want to share something about their lives.

    While there are types of support that nobody should have to ask for (such as food or housing), it can also be important to overcome hesitation about asking for help when we need it. It can feel intimidating or even disempowering to ask for support. But oftentimes, people are willing to support us, they just don’t know exactly how – so we have to let them know. It’s true that I come from a privileged position in society that makes it relatively easy for me to overcome this hesitation. But I want to encourage everyone with access to a support structure to use it, to push past the hesitation. Because having a support structure can be so crucial for our success and our emotional and physical well-being. I believe we all need help and most of us also want to help others.

AVID High School Graduation Speech from PSU DACA Student

    Two years ago, I was in the same shoes as all of you–days before officially graduating and celebrating this remarkable achievement with my AVID family. AVID and those in it, Mr. Smith, and my classmates encouraged me to pursue my goals despite the challenges. AVID represents an exceptional part of my high school experience because it was a place where I felt welcome and encouraged. The idea of being in college as a first-generation and minority student often feels impossible, not only to us as students but also to our parents. When I told my parents the cost of a public university, they immediately told me, "So, you're not going?" To give you a perspective of their thinking, which I completely understood, the cost of a public university is more than my mother makes in a single year. The process of going to college continues to be a learning path for me and my parents. It did not help that I did not qualify for federal aid and other scholarships as a DACA recipient. However, during my senior year in AVID, we all helped each other by sharing scholarships we found; Mr. Smith gave us so many resources, and I was able to apply for local scholarships. 

    Para ustedes como padres, esta celebración refleja el trabajo duro que sus hijos e hijas han hecho para llegar a este punto, y hay que reconocerlo porque es muy difícil no solo por el trabajo que hicieron sino emocionalmente también. En la comunidad hispana, pocas veces se habla de lo emocional pero es una parte importante de los logros. La graduación de la preparatoria es solo el comienzo y sus estudiantes se enfrentarán con más retos en el futuro. A veces es difícil entender estos obstáculos y el trabajo de nosotros los estudiantes porque muchas veces somos los primeros en nuestras familias en continuar nuestra educación. Hablo por experiencia porque mis padres no entienden lo que hago la mayoría del tiempo. Algo que no puedo enfatizar suficiente es que, este es el camino de sus hijos. No decidan lo que creen que sea mejor para ellos; dejen que ellos descubran lo que les gusta, incluyendo su carrera. Como padres, siempre estarán allí para apoyar a sus hijos, pero estos próximos años son para que ellos exploren y aprendan. Para que cometan errores y aprendan de ellos. No es algo fácil y la presión no ayuda. Se que parecen muchas cosas y tal vez parezcan regaños pero como dice mi papá, “No son regaños, son consejos.” Apoyen mucho a sus estudiantes, especialmente en sus reconocibles logros.   

    Pursuing post-secondary education is financially challenging, emotionally draining, and overall a difficult path. This is especially true during senior year when receiving good and bad news about schools and scholarships and face other factors like leaving your family behind. In Hispanic & immigrant families, this is especially relevant because we carry a lot of pressure. Many of us often serve essential roles in our families, so it’s challenging for them to see us go, and we often feel guilty for leaving. 

    Getting into college is already a significant accomplishment because we are often the first ones in our family to follow this journey; however, it will also come with many challenges. Something that stuck with me from my senior year was that post-secondary spaces were not built for us. To this day, colleges often do not represent the diversity of our communities, which can lead to minority students not feeling a part of the school. In my first year, I struggled with feeling a sense of belonging in my science and math courses –courses where the demographic was lacking in diverse ethnicities and gender. The students around me were confident and always asked questions, whereas I felt small and dumb. Because of this, I began struggling with imposter syndrome –a feeling that made me doubt my ability, and I questioned whether I deserved my accomplishments –or if they had only been because of luck. 

    To reduce these struggles, I relied on the professors who showed they cared about me being there and made it feel like a learning space, not a competition. I sought out clubs & organizations that interested me to feel a part of the campus and the Portland community. In Portland, I volunteered at a preschool reading program, helped senior AVID students with their college essays, and wrote an encouraging letter to a high school student unsure of pursuing college because of the financial aspect. These experiences reminded me of how far I'd come since high school, which helped me remember that I had earned my place at PSU. 

    There will be many times when you'll be facing very similar challenges, so it will be necessary to surround yourself with people who respect you and your goals. It will also go by quickly, so enjoy it while you can and try new things –join clubs, organizations, travel abroad, and maybe even become a mentor to the younger students. Discover yourself in college and find what you are genuinely passionate about –not the path that others think is best for you. I struggled with this my first year but am now discovering a career that interests me. And, of course, take care of your mental health. Recognize when you need a break; don't push it off as laziness because small breaks can keep you from burning out too soon and losing your motivation. Following this, college is a learning space, so don’t bring yourself down for a failed test or assignment. Straight A’s and good grades in high school do not reflect your grades in college. Getting C’s and failing tests my first year was challenging because I doubted my ability or if my demanding major was the right choice. It’s critical to think of setbacks as learning experiences and analyzing what you can do to improve. 

    Finally, and without a doubt, you have all worked hard to deserve this unique, individual celebration. Graduating from high school is the beginning of your journey, and continuing to college is your next step. You have all incorporated yourselves in places you deserve to be in as part of the AVID class by being in advanced, AP, and dual-credit classes throughout high school, which often lack diversity. Like your AP and advanced courses, you deserve to be in countless other spaces. All of you deserve to be in a college classroom. You deserve to hold a leadership position and share your perspectives. You deserve to have a role in the career you are passionate about, whether a teacher, psychologist, architect, or engineer. You deserve to go beyond an undergraduate education and pursue a master’s or Ph.D. education. These spaces weren’t meant for us from the start. But you can all make it a space for you because you deserve to be there and anywhere else. 

    Today, I only see the tip of the iceberg on the journey that led you all here, but I know that beneath that, you have all worked hard and sacrificed things to get to this moment. Every single one of you has demonstrated the individual determination you carry, and I have no doubt you’ll use it wisely, so I’d like to wish you luck wherever you are heading.