Some Thoughts on Support (Upon Graduating from University), By Aineias Engstrom

 

    I’m not usually one to boast about my accomplishments, but I’m confident enough to say that I succeeded at Portland State. Not only did I meet many wonderful people who have had a meaningful impact on my life, but I also graduated summa cum laude and gained important professional experience by completing three internships in Portland. These achievements put me in a position to now move on to graduate school in Switzerland.

    I don’t mean to toot my own horn by calling my time as an undergraduate a success. I mean to set the scene to discuss an important realization I’m taking away from my three-and-a-half years at PSU. Namely, why I was able to succeed.

    I was able to succeed because I had a tremendously strong and dedicated support structure that helped me with every step along the way. My aunt, uncle, and grandparents here in Oregon; my parents from abroad; advisers, classmates, and professors in school itself. I felt supported by more people than I could have imagined during my time in Portland.

    Yes, I worked hard, I looked for internships, I was bright-eyed and eager to build relationships. I understood how to put the puzzle pieces together to succeed. But only because I was given the time and space to figure it out. I produced good work because I felt like people had my back and wanted me to succeed. I got internships because my family supported me financially, so I could work twenty hours a week without pay. And I became eager to build relationships because people’s kindness allowed me to overcome my social anxiety, at least on most days.

    Throughout my time as an undergraduate, I realized more and more the privilege of having such an extensive and committed support structure. I benefited tremendously from it, both materially (having my basic needs met) and emotionally (receiving affirmation for my hard work). But it also became clear to me that having such a support structure is not necessarily normal at PSU. Two of the smartest and most kind-hearted classmates I met as an undergraduate were forced to quit school because they could no longer pay tuition costs. Both of them also had troubled relationships with their families and couldn’t count on them for much support. And I encountered many more people who didn’t have the support structure they needed to overcome problems ranging from trauma and loneliness to food insecurity and houselessness.

     As somebody who was empowered by a strong support structure, my main message to readers is that we need to provide whatever support we can to each other, especially if we ourselves enjoy the privilege of support. There are many different means of support and each of us has something to contribute to somebody else’s well-being. I’ll be the first to say that I need to do more, but I’ve also come to realize that it isn’t a competition. Providing support starts with simple gestures like complimenting someone for a job well done or listening to them when they want to share something about their lives.

    While there are types of support that nobody should have to ask for (such as food or housing), it can also be important to overcome hesitation about asking for help when we need it. It can feel intimidating or even disempowering to ask for support. But oftentimes, people are willing to support us, they just don’t know exactly how – so we have to let them know. It’s true that I come from a privileged position in society that makes it relatively easy for me to overcome this hesitation. But I want to encourage everyone with access to a support structure to use it, to push past the hesitation. Because having a support structure can be so crucial for our success and our emotional and physical well-being. I believe we all need help and most of us also want to help others.